What Was I Thinking?
by Alice-la
Summary: The girl tilted her head up with a smile as her gaze met Warren’s, if male dogs could be in heat Warren was sure this was what they would feel like. New girls can do strange things to fabulous boys, especially ones named Warren Peace.


Chapter One.

Disclaimer: If you recognize it, odds are it isn't mine.

You know those days where you're abruptly awoken in the morning by your guardian and you shout many a profanity at them as they descend the stairs into the kitchen to ignore you? Well that was one of those mornings for Warren Peace, well actually that's how most of his mornings were constructed. Only it wasn't his mother or father, or even a guardian who woke him up in the morning. The person that woke him up every morning was an angry Jewish man who lived next door who loved to shout drunkenly toward the sky about how much of a bastard God was for making his wife leave him in 2004.

So this morning, much like every other morning, when Warren heard, "G-D, YOU SICK FUCK! WHY IS MY AGATHA GONE?! IT'S BECAUSE WE ABORTED THAT KID IN '97 ISN'T IT?! STOP BEING SUCH A DICK AND GIVE HER BACK!" He climbed out of his bed and threw open his window.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP OLD MAN, AGATHA IS GONE AND NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU PLEAD TO YOUR ASS FUCK OF A GOD SHE'S NOT COMING BACK," was what Warren decided to toss at the Jew today, it would probably be different tomorrow.

Warren looked down and realized he was naked! Oh no, he had just yelled at the Jewish man whilst being naked, a Jew had just seen him naked! Warren pulled the cord on his shutters so they'd fall down and cover the window, he needed to remember to sleep with clothes on more often. So Warren swaggered over to the bathroom and took a shower, he decided against masturbating in said shower just in case he had left the bathroom window open. It was bad enough letting the Jew see him naked, but letting a Jew (let alone anyone) see him masturbate is where he drew the line.

Then Warren swaggered to his closet to get dressed. He decided to go for that "I'm a fag, but in a bad ass way" look today so he wore some sexy black leather pants, a white t-shirt, and a forest green sweater vest. Everyone was always fawning over Warren's fashion, they practically orgasmed when he walked past. Except on those days where he wore his blue hoody with the horse on the front, people didn't seem to like that one very much.

Warren grabbed his backpack and rushed downstairs, he had just taken a look at the clock he was apparently late. He grabbed a Blue Paddle out of the fridge, taking off the cap and taking a swig as he walked to the door.

"MILDRED," he exclaimed. "I'M LEAVING FOR SCHOOL!"

Warren's mother Mildred glowered at him from the kitchen table that sat five feet away from the door, "You don't have to announce every time you leave this house, and you sure as hell don't have to yell at me when I'm right next to you."

Warren frowned, taking another swig of his random beer, "You don't care about me and you never will! I hate you and I hope you die!" Warren dramatically set the door on fire and sauntered over to the bus stop.

"That really needs to stop, I'm running out of doors," said Mildred, running an ugly hand diseased by old through her gray, decrepit hair.

Warren stormed down to the bus stop, smashing his Blue Paddle on the ground with anger. "I am sick of that woman," he muttered to himself. She was always getting in his way, pointing out her logic!

Warren dramatically set fire to a tree as the bus man Ron Wilson stopped the bus in front of him. Wilson rolled his eyes upon seeing the flame littered tree, "Looks like they're going to have to replace that one too."

At the bus driver's words Warren smirked his sexy smirk that was much like Draco Malfoy's only Warren Peace was not a bleach blonde and he didn't slick back his hair so people actually took him seriously. Three girls clutched their hearts and fanned themselves with their hands as Warren stepped past them. They even broke into a little song, "Look there he goes! Isn't he dreamy? Monsieur Warren Peace! Oh, he's so cute! Be still my heart! I'm hardly breathing! He's such a tall, dark, strong, and handsome brute!" Warren smirked again and shook his head, when would those girls realize that they lived in America and not France?

Warren really hated riding the bus, he had to sit next to a cornucopia of idiots, smelly people, unfashionable kids, persons who listened to music that didn't whine and bitch about how much life sucked, short students, tall students, ugly people, etc. It was just a bad experience all together. Now if Warren attended a normal high school he could drive himself, he was actually a very good driver considering he'd only crashed three times all. However, Sky High was conveniently built in the sky so without flying powers Warren was a bit fucked on the issue of getting to the school without the aid of the bus. Warren sat in the last seat on the bus and buckled his seat belt with a scowl, normal high schoolers didn't require seat belts… then again they weren't abruptly sent into the sky and slung all over the place by a fat driver.

So, like most days, Warren pulled out his Sony cassette tape player and listened to Worship Jams. Warren was pretty hardcore, as we all are aware of, and Worship Jams was what all the cool hardcore girl pants wearing kids were listening to. So naturally, he had picked up a copy. Warren wasn't altogether sure about this Jesus guy, and he didn't get quite why he would love ALL children for there was bound to be at least one kid Jesus didn't get along with, but none the less he bobbed his head to the erratic pitches the grade school children sung.

Warren's swaggered through the halls toward his next class. He'd shoot the lovely ladies and gentlemen double-barreled fingers and wink when he passed. Except for when he passed an ugly person, then he'd just grimace and walk faster. When he was done being sexy he decided to be the angry loner he was famous for. So he stuffed his hands into his pockets, adorned a frown and walked slowly to his first block class as sullenly as possible.

The last seat in the right corner of the room notoriously belonged to Warren Peace. You did not sit there, it was forbidden. It was like sex outside of marriage was forbidden to most religions, unless you wished to be condemned to hell you did not sit in that seat. Warren even went the extra mile and got a little silver name tag, it was a little two inch by four inch strip of silver with his name written in a wonderfully loopy script that was screwed into the wood; it was aesthetically pleasing to say the least. With this knowledge we now know why Warren was a little more than irritated when he came in to find some Asian kid sitting in his seat. Warren stormed down the aisle, dramatically lighting his arms on fire, he grabbed the unfashionable collar of the Asian and hoisted him up into the air with his right hand.

"What is a miserable creature like you doing in my seat," he snarled, fire flicking alarmingly close to the squirming adolescent in his hand.

The Asian kid sneered at him, swinging his legs in a ridiculous and ineffective manner of escaping, "There's no sign here saying it's _yours_."

Warren punched the Asian in the jaw and slammed his face into the desk with immense force, rubbing the kid's nose into his beautiful little name plaque like you would a puppy that had pissed on the carpet, "WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE TO YOU? What does it say AYE? I believe that spells WARREN PEACE and not FRUITY LITTLE ASIAN KID. Got it memorized?"

Warren threw the little Asian kid to the ground, extinguishing his arms and wiping his hands on his crotch-hugging pants. The Asian kid glared at him and Warren gave him a swift kick in the ribs, "I asked you a question, Asian!"

Asian kid rolled his eyes with a sigh as he clutched his aching side, "The name's Dong, not Asian kid."

Warren rolled his eyes and pulled his foot back for another kick, "That doesn't sound much better."

Dong put his arms up to protect himself from Warren's foot as it came in for another impact, "FINE, I HAVE IT MEMORIZED." 

Warren grinned and plopped down into his seat. He took a red handkerchief out of his back pack and started to sullenly polish his silver, intricate name tag that he cherished so. When the bell rang he stashed the handkerchief back in his back pack and leaned into the back of his chair, crossing his arms in that loner pose that made the girls, and a few of the guys, swoon. Those three blonde chicks from the bus were even about to go into their usual song but the teacher decided to go into a fit of coughs at that moment. He looked up to watch his teacher with his deep mahogany orbs that reflected the pain and sorrows that had happened in his life time.

The teacher, Mrs. Largerac, rapped her gavel onto her desk, "STUDENTS OF CLASSROOM 50272119, I have a VERY important announcement!"

She spoke with that voice that let you know that she'd be announcing the arrival of a new student. It was a very cliché entrance for a new student in plots such as this, but Warren found it classy none the less. He himself would pay freshman to announce his arrival into a classroom once in awhile, so it was nice and chic to see a new student announced with such authority!

"Today I'd like to introduce a new student," She flung her left arm out spectacularly towards the door, and it swung open with a deafening sound. Warren Peace was actually taken aback at the person that stepped through the door frame! A stunningly attractive girl stepped through with a seductive, tantalizing smile upon her heart shaped visage. She had long, ebony hair that danced behind her like a flock of ravens flying at night (although Warren was unsure if he should call a group of ravens a flock or a gaggle); it cascaded down her back in a dark waterfall that reached the waistband of her ridiculously trendy skirt. Her hair had a cerulean streak running through the front of her hair; it was if a small river was traveling from her scalp. She had sparkling violet eyes that seemed to twinkle under the poor fluorescent lighting that flickered down from the ceiling. Her eyes were like two pools of violet ocean, emotions storming inside them with fierce intensity. Warren had to admit that she had the most gorgeous eyes he'd ever seen, they clashed a bit with the blue in her hair but he'd put those eyes in a Proclear commercial any day. She had enormous breasts but was incredibly skinny, if Warren had to guess (and he was a very good guesser) she would definitely wear size zero pants. Her legs were long and thin and carried her in an incredibly elegant manner across the floor as she sashayed towards the teacher's desk. The girl wore a tiny black and gray plaid mini-skirt that just barely covered her panties, there was no doubt in Warren's mind that if he gave a mediocre amount of effort and put his head on his desk he could easily see beneath the skirt. A gray tank top hugged her enormous milk sacks in a manner which left little to the imagination and the straps of her bright red bra could be seen from a mile away. Her feet were clad in a pair of scandalously stylish vivid red pumps, Warren wondered if she always matched her shoes with her bra. The girl turned to the class once she was standing next to the teacher and Warren was pretty sure he wanted to bang this girl. She gave the class a snide smile, as if she was above every single one of them; Warren would definitely get along with this girl.

Mrs. Largerac put her hand on the girl's lovely shoulder and with a booming yet charming voice announced, "This is Euphoria Avery NuBooti!"

The girl flipped her shimmering raven hair over her luxurious right shoulder with a complacent smirk across her angelic face; her vivacious eyes surveyed the room as if she was looking into the souls of each and every one of the students. Euphoria tilted her head up with a smile as her gaze met Warren's, if male dogs could be in heat Warren was sure this was what they would feel like.

"Why don't you tell us a little about yourself, Euphoria," The teacher asked in a most cliché manner. Warren had a feeling that he'd heard quite a few fictitious teachers say that phrase, but considering Warren's life held no connection to an overused fanfiction plot line and seeing as this was in real life he paid little attention to this premonition.

Euphoria smiled whimsically and spoke with a melodious British accent, "Well I just transferred here from the New York City School of Annoyingly Extraordinary Talent! I'm British; my parents came over to New York and had me in the city. That's why even though I'm blatantly Americanized, as I should be seeing as I was born here, I have a British accent!"

Warren put his fingers up to his temple to contemplate the wondrous new girl's chatter. Her parents were British, and she was born in America. Warren nodded his head with a smile; her accent made perfect sense, no wait… it made perfect _sexy_ sense. Warren nodded with a smile to himself slapping his knee, MAN was he clever!

Euphoria continued her long, drawn out discussion about herself after her dramatic pause, "Unfortunately, I'm an orphan…," The class took a moment to send her their belated condolences as Euphoria nodded her head solemnly. "Thanks guys, it happened awhile ago when I was a kid. My Mom and Dad both had AIDS, and one day when my dad was driving the AIDS got him so he lots control of the wheel. Then suddenly the AIDS got my Mom and the car crashed into the Statue of Liberty… God damn French Statue."

Warren nodded his head sympathetically, you did have to watch out for those God damn French Statues, never knew when they'd jump out and crash your AIDS ridden car.

"I live with my Uncle now, and life is… not so amazing. I'm also a great singer; I've been proclaimed a vocal prodigy by the best in the entertainment business," Euphoria gave a melancholy sigh that let us all know she was going to give us a detail about her singing career that was not entirely happy. "Unfortunately my Uncle doesn't approve of my music, I'll just have to prove him wrong, won't I?! Anyway, my hobbies include fornication, singing, partying, not paying attention to rules and having no repercussions for what I do, wearing miniskirts, and flashing people!"

Mrs. Largerac rubbed her face with her hand in a tiresome way with a sigh, "Thank you… Euphoria. Now, if you would so kind as to tell the class what powers you have."

Euphoria grinned a fergalicious smile, "Oh, I completely forgot about that! I can, well, I can manipulate clothing!"

Warren raised an eyebrow, he'd certainly never heard of that super power, it must be a rarity like that skanky, technopath girl who always looks like she's got some evil scheme up her sleeves. None the less, Warren was curious to see what exactly this girl meant when she mentioned she could manipulate clothes. _"Please God, don't let her fuck with my clothes… I look good today," _he thought silently.

Euphoria smiled a flirtatious, mischievous smile and crossed her arms in a way that made it clear Euphoria thought she was the shit. She smirked up at the teacher and said in a condescending tone with her scandalous accent, "Your shirt is fuchsia."

The teacher looked down and scowled, her wonderful black sweater had just turned a ridiculous colour! She glared at her new student with a glare that could have made a tyrannosaurus rex quiver and run up a tree and hide. Euphoria just smiled sweetly at her, "That's how it works. I can change colours of clothes, shapes of clothes, and make them disappear. Unfortunately I do not have the ability to make them return… never quite figure that one out."

Warren fell out of his chair laughing, what a hideous colour to turn such a trendy sweater into! Wow this girl had some humor! Warren slapped the floor with his hand, howling with an attractive laughter (well as attractive as a howling laugh can be, which is really damn attractive in Warren's case seeing as he's the sexy main character.).

"That colour is so unfashionable! Ahahaha," Warren pulled himself back into his seat and wiped his face while he grinned. Then he put on his serious "I'm not shitting you" face, "But in all seriousness, change it back, my eyes burn from the hideous of it."

"Please do," said Mrs. Largerac whilst glaring at the new girl that stood beside her. Fuchsia was not now, and never would be her colour. Aihava Largerac decided at that moment that if her shirt wasn't going to be transformed back into black she would give the girl detention, call in a sub and go back home to change her god damned shirt.

Euphoria sighed like it would be an immensely large burden for her to change the shirt colour, "Fine, fine. Your shirt is black." Then the teacher's sweater abruptly changed to the familiar black hue and Mrs. Largerac gave a sigh of fashion relief.

"Alright then, Euphoria, would you take a seat beside Warren Peace who's sitting in the right corner?"

Warren's eyebrow shot up and he looked to his left and apparently there was an empty seat. He tried to think this over a bit because he could have sworn the fruity Asian kid had been sitting in the seat only moments before hand. He gave a shrug, not like he would mind sitting next to a completely gorgeous new girl that he could probably convince into having sex with him.

Euphoria smiled and gave a chuckle, "Haha, Warren Peace, _War and Peace_ That's so fucking clever!"

Warren's eyebrow raised again and his mind ran through with thoughts, _"Wait… what the hell? WHEN DID MY NAME START SOUNDING LIKE A BOOK TITLE?! I need to go stab torch Mildred for that little ditty!"_

"Er… I guess so," he said as the girl strutted over to the seat behind him. He couldn't help but notice her lovely breast swinging about like there was a song playing that was supposed to be danced to that only they could hear.

She sat down in her seat gracefully, crossing her legs and leaning towards me, practically shoving her boobs out of her shirt as she did so. Euphoria knew was she liked, and Warren Peace was definitely on the list of things she wanted. She smiled at him with "come hither" eyes and licked her top lip in a rather skanky way, "Hey."

Warren smirked his sexy smirk that made the ladies and gentlemen swoon, "Hey," he dropped his eyes to her chest. "You've got a nice pair of melons there."

Suddenly, as if someone had just spent a ridiculous amount of time explaining the entrance of a new student, the class bell rung!

"You know of any roomy closets near by," Euphoria asked Warren whilst itching her naughty bits.

"Indeed," Warren elegantly took Euphoria and with a graceful sprint took her to the second corridor closet.


End file.
